This blog post is going to create a lot of angry people but I am not afraid of that because this is what this blog is about - opinions. And I think most of the people who read this will recognize themselves in this one or if they don't oh well you might just be the worst kind: so pretentious you don't even know it. A couple of people inspired me to write this post including a girl tapping and jamming to her music on the tube her eyes closed.
I have been reading a lot of blogs lately, a lot of tweets and seen many people (for some reason mostly on Central Line) and I know a bunch of people. Those are my research objects for this post.
There are types of pretentious people:
1) People like the girl in the train. I remember looking at her in a very evil way trying to tell her to stop but she chose to continue looking like a dork. Earphones on and pretending that she is sooooo into the great music that she is listening to she has to dance around the carriage. No you don't have to. It's fine to listen to your music but no need to tap or dance, hum or nod and if you are not tired try keeping your eyes open. You are not a DJ. It's fine to listen to music in your room and dance around but don't tell anyone you are doing it or it's pretentious.
2) People who sing. Singing in public argggh! Especially I hate people who say oh they can sing. This is why I don't like Zooey Deschanel. Her characters are on the top of the pretentious list for me. I would never talk to her character in New Girl if she existed. I watch the show just because I like the guys. I am going to rule out singing as a joke if it lasts less than five seconds after that I don't find it funny anymore. And nobody should ever try to impress me by writing me a song. Never. Unless they are professional at it (=your songs are being played in the radio at least 3 times a day). Playing a guitar will make it even worse.
3) People who think their life story matters when it doesn't (when it does someone will tell you so no need for guessing). Why would I want to read about how you learned to walk and talk, what was your favourite toy and how naughty but cute kid you used to be. I will ask if I want to know. While it's fine to mention one of these things in a relevant conversation with you friends, a stranger does not want to know if they don't ask. So good rule of thumb here is that don't expect someone to be interested if they haven't verbally expressed their interest or if your interesting fact doesn't perfectly fit into the conversation.
4) People who pretend to understand arts. In a serious manner. This one will be short because I don't hang out with people who pretend to understand arts in a serious manner for a reason.
5) People who think they are cultured. Oh I love Jane Austen blaah blaah blaah you know what I love her books too and it's not so difficult they are nice light reads and nothing to boast about.
6) People who think they are different. Let me tell you something, I am just an average person and there is nothing that I can do that nobody else can. "I am actually a bit weird because I like to sing while I cook." Never heard of anyone else doing it? Oh of course not because you have no friends. Obviously it's not anything special all the characters in books and movies do it so basically you just copied and pasted it. I remember (relevant story to the topic! Hahaa!) when I was in primary school and I used to hope that I walked funnily or there would be something weird about my eyes that would make me interesting. There wasn't. And now I've just accepted that I am an average person with no superpowers and I am just like anyone else. For some reason many people find it hard to accept that they are just average.
I know top six of things that make you pretentious is not an ideal number so I will give you one more as a bonus.
+ people who are inspired by 500 Days of Summer. My pet hate.
oh and another one!
+ people who think they are Zooey Deschanel.
Actually the bonus ones are the most important ones if you don't want to look pretentious.
If I missed anything important please let me know I am happy to hear what you think is pretentious!
Tuesday 26 June 2012
Sunday 17 June 2012
A foreigner in the jungle - A life lesson
I love London. I don't like Finland (where I am from). Mainly because I feel that I don't fit in. A lot of people say they want to find their roots or they want to go back to their roots, see I don't get that. Since I was twelve I knew I would leave. It's not that I don't love my house, my family and my friends but for me Finland seemed like a cage, a place where dreams came to die.
Now I visit home approximately four times a year. I still don't like it there and I feel like my life in London has been just a dream but I've learned to love it from a distance. I have realized that I love my country when I am not there. I love being Finnish when I am not in Finland and I try my hardest to never move back there. Not that it's not a good place to live. To be honest it is probably the best place to live in the world but it's not for me. So that's the introduction to what I am going to tell you. I want to tell you why for the first time I wanted to be in Finland (- not physically but to be on the same page with some people).
See, our landlords were a bit of a pricks the other week. We have an upstairs room that leads to a rooftop balcony but we had no access to it because we did not have stairs for four months since we moved in (now we got a temporary ladder). We have been asking and asking for them but didn't get any answers. After all this waiting we had enough and decided we shouldn't be paying full rent when we cannot use upstairs room or balcony. Our offer was to pay £150 less for the duration that we did not have access to upstairs but our landlords 'kindly' informed us that if we are not happy we can move out. In Finland the tenants have rights and if there is a space they cannot use because of the landlord they don't have to pay for it. You pay for what you have access to. We rented this apartment wanting that upstairs room and balcony but we didn't have it so why should we pay the full price. Makes no sense. This is what bugs me. Here landlords are the kings and tenants have to do what ever they say. Our landlords in our previous apartment where even more out of order and couldn't keep to the contracts themselves. It's all this trying to trick people mentality that I don't like and I guess in those moments I miss Finland. Here I am on my own and the laws that I am used to suddenly don't apply. It's like a different jungle.
The difficulty of living in another country than your family is that they cannot help you or give you advise in this kind of situations because they do not know the laws in here. That has been the toughest thing living abroad. I have been here for nearly two years now as a student and I have a lot to learn. I never fight against the culture I am in because I decided to come here and if I don't like it I should leave because it is not my country but sometimes I wish that I could change some bits around to make it more sensible and more fair to everybody.
People keep telling me that I need to toughen up because 'this is real world, it's not Finland anymore' and I do admit they are not wrong. I just accept that what is right is the law. It's not. See, we Finnish people are quite honest and straight forward (obviously this is a generalization) and I expect that elsewhere as well. I know it's naive but I don't want to go everywhere doubting every single thing I am told. Like with the landlords, they were so nice when we moved in and that's where it stopped and now they try to get money out of every single thing. I am still not willing to turn against humanity but sometimes a harmless looking plant can be poisonous - or at least taste bad.
Now I visit home approximately four times a year. I still don't like it there and I feel like my life in London has been just a dream but I've learned to love it from a distance. I have realized that I love my country when I am not there. I love being Finnish when I am not in Finland and I try my hardest to never move back there. Not that it's not a good place to live. To be honest it is probably the best place to live in the world but it's not for me. So that's the introduction to what I am going to tell you. I want to tell you why for the first time I wanted to be in Finland (- not physically but to be on the same page with some people).
See, our landlords were a bit of a pricks the other week. We have an upstairs room that leads to a rooftop balcony but we had no access to it because we did not have stairs for four months since we moved in (now we got a temporary ladder). We have been asking and asking for them but didn't get any answers. After all this waiting we had enough and decided we shouldn't be paying full rent when we cannot use upstairs room or balcony. Our offer was to pay £150 less for the duration that we did not have access to upstairs but our landlords 'kindly' informed us that if we are not happy we can move out. In Finland the tenants have rights and if there is a space they cannot use because of the landlord they don't have to pay for it. You pay for what you have access to. We rented this apartment wanting that upstairs room and balcony but we didn't have it so why should we pay the full price. Makes no sense. This is what bugs me. Here landlords are the kings and tenants have to do what ever they say. Our landlords in our previous apartment where even more out of order and couldn't keep to the contracts themselves. It's all this trying to trick people mentality that I don't like and I guess in those moments I miss Finland. Here I am on my own and the laws that I am used to suddenly don't apply. It's like a different jungle.
The difficulty of living in another country than your family is that they cannot help you or give you advise in this kind of situations because they do not know the laws in here. That has been the toughest thing living abroad. I have been here for nearly two years now as a student and I have a lot to learn. I never fight against the culture I am in because I decided to come here and if I don't like it I should leave because it is not my country but sometimes I wish that I could change some bits around to make it more sensible and more fair to everybody.
People keep telling me that I need to toughen up because 'this is real world, it's not Finland anymore' and I do admit they are not wrong. I just accept that what is right is the law. It's not. See, we Finnish people are quite honest and straight forward (obviously this is a generalization) and I expect that elsewhere as well. I know it's naive but I don't want to go everywhere doubting every single thing I am told. Like with the landlords, they were so nice when we moved in and that's where it stopped and now they try to get money out of every single thing. I am still not willing to turn against humanity but sometimes a harmless looking plant can be poisonous - or at least taste bad.
Saturday 9 June 2012
My greatest fear is fear itself (My Zombie Plan)
Alright so this blog will be slightly more personal one. I was going to write it last night but I realized I would just scare myself to death if I did since I was home alone. So I decided to wait for some daylight.
If you haven't already guessed (such an obvious thing anyway) what I'm going to write about is Zombies - my number two fear! My ultimate fear is the Grudge girl and I would put a picture of her here but I can't since she is my number one fear in the whole wide world. I would also Google the movie title and the year but I am afraid that a picture of her will pop up on Google. Zombies come in a good second place and third snakes and so on. Weirdly enough robbers, murderers and such are not even on the list. I am only scared of supernatural things (and snakes -but I think that's justified since Indiana Jones is also scared of snakes).
The only two zombie films I've ever seen are 28 Weeks Later (2007) and Zombieland (2009). I would count in Resident Evil (2002) as well even though I am aware that it is not a zombie movie. The zombies in it scared the hell out of me though. I wasn't actually scared of watching 28 Weeks Later but my imagination got me scared later on. It is not that I would be terrified watching it but what my mind starts to create when it's dark and I'm alone. My fear of zombies is the actual fear of being afraid if that makes sense. The fear of having to run and hide and the fact that they are not humans and you cannot reason with them. In my mind they are incredibly strong and can run through doors and that is why I sometimes stay awake at night listening to the pace of footsteps outside (I've been told that zombies always run).
This one time I came home from Italy and my flat mate wasn't there (which I knew already beforehand) but I had started to imagine things already on my way from Heathrow Airport because it was so dark outside. When I got home I made the mistake of going upstairs into my room without checking the house. The rest of the night I stayed awake fearing that my flat mate didn't actually ever leave but would lie on the kitchen floor and slowly turn into a zombie. Imagining that I got so scared of it I couldn't go and check so I decided to stay awake the whole night sitting on my bed. By the way just so you know she wasn't in the house and hadn't turned into a zombie I found out later.
My problem with a Zombie Apocalypse would be the fact that you are expecting a zombie to burst in any second. It's not the fighting with them it's the living in fear to be found. This is why my zombie plan is tuttuduuu tu tuddutuuu : to kill myself. Yes, yes I know it's an amazing plan because then I don't have to be scared. My friends always tease me that they will dress up as zombies and scare me but they are worried that I would actually kill myself before they get the chance to tell me they were just joking.
To be honest my ultimate plan would be this: http://all-that-is-interesting.com/post/4956385434/the-first-zombie-proof-house. But the problem with it is that how likely is it that I will actually have that house. If I had it though, people said that what if WHAT IF zombies still would get in. I would be stuck with them. Well I would build an underground tunnel for escape with a Jeep waiting for me there. I know, your next question is: what if zombies come through the tunnel then. They won't. I would have the tunnel built that if you try to access it from outside it will have these metal walls (like in Titanic) that come down. With sensor detectors obviously.
But obviously the Zombie Apocalypse isn't very likely. Or is it? Have you seen the news lately?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVhQWQSvwEw (Cannibal Attack (Miami Zombie), TheYoungTurks, 29.05.2012) and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eQ39wxAjXw&feature=relmfu (Man Eats Roommate's Brain, Heart ('Zombie' Attack), TheYoungTurks, 1.06.2012).
Just one last thing guys. Don't take bath salts because they seem to turn you into a zombie!
If you haven't already guessed (such an obvious thing anyway) what I'm going to write about is Zombies - my number two fear! My ultimate fear is the Grudge girl and I would put a picture of her here but I can't since she is my number one fear in the whole wide world. I would also Google the movie title and the year but I am afraid that a picture of her will pop up on Google. Zombies come in a good second place and third snakes and so on. Weirdly enough robbers, murderers and such are not even on the list. I am only scared of supernatural things (and snakes -but I think that's justified since Indiana Jones is also scared of snakes).
The only two zombie films I've ever seen are 28 Weeks Later (2007) and Zombieland (2009). I would count in Resident Evil (2002) as well even though I am aware that it is not a zombie movie. The zombies in it scared the hell out of me though. I wasn't actually scared of watching 28 Weeks Later but my imagination got me scared later on. It is not that I would be terrified watching it but what my mind starts to create when it's dark and I'm alone. My fear of zombies is the actual fear of being afraid if that makes sense. The fear of having to run and hide and the fact that they are not humans and you cannot reason with them. In my mind they are incredibly strong and can run through doors and that is why I sometimes stay awake at night listening to the pace of footsteps outside (I've been told that zombies always run).
This one time I came home from Italy and my flat mate wasn't there (which I knew already beforehand) but I had started to imagine things already on my way from Heathrow Airport because it was so dark outside. When I got home I made the mistake of going upstairs into my room without checking the house. The rest of the night I stayed awake fearing that my flat mate didn't actually ever leave but would lie on the kitchen floor and slowly turn into a zombie. Imagining that I got so scared of it I couldn't go and check so I decided to stay awake the whole night sitting on my bed. By the way just so you know she wasn't in the house and hadn't turned into a zombie I found out later.
My problem with a Zombie Apocalypse would be the fact that you are expecting a zombie to burst in any second. It's not the fighting with them it's the living in fear to be found. This is why my zombie plan is tuttuduuu tu tuddutuuu : to kill myself. Yes, yes I know it's an amazing plan because then I don't have to be scared. My friends always tease me that they will dress up as zombies and scare me but they are worried that I would actually kill myself before they get the chance to tell me they were just joking.
To be honest my ultimate plan would be this: http://all-that-is-interesting.com/post/4956385434/the-first-zombie-proof-house. But the problem with it is that how likely is it that I will actually have that house. If I had it though, people said that what if WHAT IF zombies still would get in. I would be stuck with them. Well I would build an underground tunnel for escape with a Jeep waiting for me there. I know, your next question is: what if zombies come through the tunnel then. They won't. I would have the tunnel built that if you try to access it from outside it will have these metal walls (like in Titanic) that come down. With sensor detectors obviously.
But obviously the Zombie Apocalypse isn't very likely. Or is it? Have you seen the news lately?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVhQWQSvwEw (Cannibal Attack (Miami Zombie), TheYoungTurks, 29.05.2012) and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eQ39wxAjXw&feature=relmfu (Man Eats Roommate's Brain, Heart ('Zombie' Attack), TheYoungTurks, 1.06.2012).
Just one last thing guys. Don't take bath salts because they seem to turn you into a zombie!
Tuesday 5 June 2012
Watch Fat Women Get So Fat They Die Because Of Their Fatness -Fetish
I watched this documentary about Fat Fetish (My Big Fat Fetish - http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-big-fat-fetish/4od ) on 4oD. Okay, first of all I have nothing against chubby or even bit overweight women or men who find women with more mass attractive. No problemos. But what I did find highly disturbing was the fact that these "fans" of these women encouraged them to gain massive amounts of weight because they found it arousing. No matter how life threatening it would be to the women.
The annoying thing about their Fat Fetish site is that they seem to think they are offering an alternative solution to the skinny porn models that we are all used to. These women talk about their idea as if this is what someone who loves their body in a Large does. They promote themselves as women who enjoy their fat and weight and are totally comfortable in their own skin. In the programme it comes clear though that gaining weight can be as restricting and strenuous as dieting to lose weight.
While going on about how they love themselves and their size these women contradicted themselves by saying that the "fans" encourage them to gain weight. Many of the women kept video diaries about how they gained weight and the heavier they were the more fans they got and more money from the men using the website. These men literally feed these women and encourage them to become EXTREMELY obese.
Is someone now going to tell me that this is not the same thing that happens in the current modeling industry where the skinnier you are the more popular you are and more popular you are the more money you get?? I am not going to dig deeper in the skinny business because there is nothing new there but encouraging obesity in the times where our population is getting bigger and bigger already is a very bad idea. Of course we are all supposed to love our own bodies and as we have learned we are not supposed to be model skinny, but we definitely aren't supposed to be too large to leave the house either.
To be honest I think this Watch Fat Women Get So Fat They Die Because Of Their Fatness -website doesn't sound too brilliant to me.
The annoying thing about their Fat Fetish site is that they seem to think they are offering an alternative solution to the skinny porn models that we are all used to. These women talk about their idea as if this is what someone who loves their body in a Large does. They promote themselves as women who enjoy their fat and weight and are totally comfortable in their own skin. In the programme it comes clear though that gaining weight can be as restricting and strenuous as dieting to lose weight.
While going on about how they love themselves and their size these women contradicted themselves by saying that the "fans" encourage them to gain weight. Many of the women kept video diaries about how they gained weight and the heavier they were the more fans they got and more money from the men using the website. These men literally feed these women and encourage them to become EXTREMELY obese.
Is someone now going to tell me that this is not the same thing that happens in the current modeling industry where the skinnier you are the more popular you are and more popular you are the more money you get?? I am not going to dig deeper in the skinny business because there is nothing new there but encouraging obesity in the times where our population is getting bigger and bigger already is a very bad idea. Of course we are all supposed to love our own bodies and as we have learned we are not supposed to be model skinny, but we definitely aren't supposed to be too large to leave the house either.
To be honest I think this Watch Fat Women Get So Fat They Die Because Of Their Fatness -website doesn't sound too brilliant to me.
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