I knew that women spend a lot of money on tampons etc. But £1,368 on average per woman!! And you just can't do anything about it. As Cosmopolitan points out that is FOUR pairs of Louboutins, and I know that I would pick the shoes anytime if I had the choice as I think many women would. And that is exactly my point. Choice.
Women don't have a choice not to buy tampons. There is no sensible way to work around it. And anyone who thinks about suggesting wearing a towel that you can wash and wear again has never had a period and thus is not allowed an opinion.
Okay, so we don't have a choice really whether or not to bleed every month but I think we should have a choice not to spend that amount of our money. The fact is ALL women have (I was very tempted to write 'suffer from') periods, so it's not like it is a random group of people. I propose that tampons, pads etc should be free for women. Why is it not? The Pill is (which I am all for!) and you can get condoms for free as well and they are not necessary as you do not NEED to have sex.
It is very unlikely for someone to get tampons and use them for any other purpose. Maybe we should add that into the taxes so women wouldn't only have to suffer from bleeding every single month (men I know you think women only bleed for 10 minutes a day but the fact is it is nearly constant non-stop bleeding) but also have to give up on buying amazing shoes because of this or food for that matter. At least we could buy one pair not even four if government chipped in on this. Actually not chipping in is gender inequality. From my taxes I help to pay fat peoples hospital care and they are fat by choice.
Trust us it was not our choice to bleed.
Monday 11 February 2013
Wednesday 17 October 2012
Flat Hunting - How I Lost £1350
Flat hunting is always fun until actually
you need a flat and when you have a student budget. The stress is the worst. At
the moment I have 16 days to find a flat or I am homeless. According to the
estate agencies I have got a lot of time and no rush to find a flat but
according to my calendar I should have one already.
So I started looking for a flat. First from Zoopla, Rightmove and all these other flat search sites. Then I started looking from the estate agencies' sites and then finally from Gumtree.
I found loads of great places from Gumtree through agencies but they either didn't get back to me or the flats had already been rented. I started noticing that there where many amazing flats rented by private people for really cheap. First I was cautious because we all know what they say about those internet scam flats. I contacted a couple of the private flats and most of them emailed back. I felt relieved because I had already started stressing about the fact that I couldn't seem to find a decent and decent priced flat.
First I was contacted by Cindy Pauler. She claimed to be a divorced single mum who had to move back to Germany when she got divorced:
"Hello,
My name is Cindy Pauler and I just got an e-mail regarding your interest in my apartment .
Why is the price so low? I have just divorced from my husband (after confessed that he had fallen in love with another woman, I decided to divorce), and I had to move to Munich ,Germany. I don't want to sell the apartment because I have a 12 years old daughter who will come to study in England high school and college. So all that I want to do now is to rent the apartment to some nice and responsible persons, who will take good care of the apartment for the next years. I have won the apartment after the sharing of the of marital properties. I am the single owner, the apartment is fully paid and there is no legal problem. The apartment is unoccupied since I no longer live there.
I would like to know more details about yourself. "
The monthly rent is 600 pounds (for the whole apartment) with utilities (water, electricity, internet, cable, one parking space) - INCLUDED. You can rent the apartment for an indefinite period, but for a minimum period of two months.The security deposit is also 600 pounds, and you get it back, when you decide to leave the apartment (you will have to give me at least 30 days notice). -- If you agree and you are decided to rent the apartment i am are ready to make a trip to England and meet you in a city acceptable for both of us. If this is agreeable to you please include your location in your next reply.
I appreciate your interest in my apartment and I'm looking forward to our future collaboration and friendship.”
This all seemed alright to me. She hadn’t asked for money and the rent was cheap but she had addressed the reason why. I had dealt with security deposit like the one she mentioned in both flats I have lived in so that wasn’t suspicious at all. I replied that I could meet her anywhere in London at any time and she suggested the next Saturday which I agreed on.
“We can meet on 13 Oct in London.
So I started looking for a flat. First from Zoopla, Rightmove and all these other flat search sites. Then I started looking from the estate agencies' sites and then finally from Gumtree.
I found loads of great places from Gumtree through agencies but they either didn't get back to me or the flats had already been rented. I started noticing that there where many amazing flats rented by private people for really cheap. First I was cautious because we all know what they say about those internet scam flats. I contacted a couple of the private flats and most of them emailed back. I felt relieved because I had already started stressing about the fact that I couldn't seem to find a decent and decent priced flat.
First I was contacted by Cindy Pauler. She claimed to be a divorced single mum who had to move back to Germany when she got divorced:
"Hello,
My name is Cindy Pauler and I just got an e-mail regarding your interest in my apartment .
Why is the price so low? I have just divorced from my husband (after confessed that he had fallen in love with another woman, I decided to divorce), and I had to move to Munich ,Germany. I don't want to sell the apartment because I have a 12 years old daughter who will come to study in England high school and college. So all that I want to do now is to rent the apartment to some nice and responsible persons, who will take good care of the apartment for the next years. I have won the apartment after the sharing of the of marital properties. I am the single owner, the apartment is fully paid and there is no legal problem. The apartment is unoccupied since I no longer live there.
I would like to know more details about yourself. "
The monthly rent is 600 pounds (for the whole apartment) with utilities (water, electricity, internet, cable, one parking space) - INCLUDED. You can rent the apartment for an indefinite period, but for a minimum period of two months.The security deposit is also 600 pounds, and you get it back, when you decide to leave the apartment (you will have to give me at least 30 days notice). -- If you agree and you are decided to rent the apartment i am are ready to make a trip to England and meet you in a city acceptable for both of us. If this is agreeable to you please include your location in your next reply.
I appreciate your interest in my apartment and I'm looking forward to our future collaboration and friendship.”
This all seemed alright to me. She hadn’t asked for money and the rent was cheap but she had addressed the reason why. I had dealt with security deposit like the one she mentioned in both flats I have lived in so that wasn’t suspicious at all. I replied that I could meet her anywhere in London at any time and she suggested the next Saturday which I agreed on.
“We can meet on 13 Oct in London.
We will stay at: Jurys Inn Islington Hotel,
60 Pentonville Road, Islington, London, N1 9LA .....so we can meet at the
reception at 11 am (I have attached a picture of us for easier match).
I am ready to meet you as we agreed and
finish the deal, but before all things I must be sure that you will be there
and I will not make the journey for nothing... I hope you understand me!
My friend will go to the Western Union
Office here in Munich and she will make a transfer ON MY NAME with destination
London. I will be the beneficiary of 1200 pounds in London, the place of our
meeting. I think that the amount is considerable as a proof of coming and that
I will be there to meet you! As soon as the transfer is finished I will scan
the paper of my transfer and I will send it via e-mail!
The same thing I want from you! A best
friend or a relative of yours must go to the Western Union Office (Money
Transfer) there in your town to any Western Union Agency and make a transfer of
1200 pounds ON YOUR NAME with destination London. I want to see you the
beneficiary of 1200 pounds in London!
This way we both gain confidence, it
represents the proof for me that you have the money and you will come there to
meet me!”
In that email she had attached a picture of her and her ex-husband so that I could recognize her. I became slightly uncomfortable about the money transferring idea so I didn’t reply back immediately but decided to look around for other flats first.
Kelvin Rhodes contacted me about his flat that was available to rent for the exact same price as Cindy Pauler’s. He wrote:
“Thanks for your interest in my flat. Viewing is possible if you can meet up with my solicitors requirements. My solicitor and i had some past bitter experience of booking a viewing and reserving accommodation for tenants without any form of confirmation of their financial ability and not keeping up to time as at when scheduled has made me loss time and money for traveling as I currently work and Live in Leicester.
-- I will not collect any deposit from you not until i take you round my flat and you are satisfied with it, i just need to confirm your financial ability before i can come and i will also need to seek two days off from work because some tenants do not meet up with the appointments which has led to the dismissal of some landlords in office by their employees, I hope you understand this.”
And again he brought up the Western Union money transfer as a way to prove that I had the money to rent his flat:
“You re to make the transfer via WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER to any relative or friend of yours been the receiver and you get back to me with scan copy of the receipt which will be given to you by WESTERN UNION agent and if you don't have scanner you may write out the details as it is stated on the receipt which am to forward to my solicitor to confirm it if truly the funds is in your receiver custody for pickup,After the verification been done,i will call or email you to have your receiver pick it up.Note,i will refund the transfer charges when we meet on the viewing day, after the verification has been done, i will make my plan to meet up for the viewing.This procedure is strictly meant for assurance if you are really capable to rent my flat.If this can be done as soon as possible,i will reserve the flat for you and schedule a viewing with you at your own earliest and convenient time..”
I still wasn’t happy about transferring money around like that so I didn’t but I started to think about it. Since both Kelvin Rhodes and Cindy Pauler had mentioned it it seemed more ok.
In that email she had attached a picture of her and her ex-husband so that I could recognize her. I became slightly uncomfortable about the money transferring idea so I didn’t reply back immediately but decided to look around for other flats first.
Kelvin Rhodes contacted me about his flat that was available to rent for the exact same price as Cindy Pauler’s. He wrote:
“Thanks for your interest in my flat. Viewing is possible if you can meet up with my solicitors requirements. My solicitor and i had some past bitter experience of booking a viewing and reserving accommodation for tenants without any form of confirmation of their financial ability and not keeping up to time as at when scheduled has made me loss time and money for traveling as I currently work and Live in Leicester.
-- I will not collect any deposit from you not until i take you round my flat and you are satisfied with it, i just need to confirm your financial ability before i can come and i will also need to seek two days off from work because some tenants do not meet up with the appointments which has led to the dismissal of some landlords in office by their employees, I hope you understand this.”
And again he brought up the Western Union money transfer as a way to prove that I had the money to rent his flat:
“You re to make the transfer via WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER to any relative or friend of yours been the receiver and you get back to me with scan copy of the receipt which will be given to you by WESTERN UNION agent and if you don't have scanner you may write out the details as it is stated on the receipt which am to forward to my solicitor to confirm it if truly the funds is in your receiver custody for pickup,After the verification been done,i will call or email you to have your receiver pick it up.Note,i will refund the transfer charges when we meet on the viewing day, after the verification has been done, i will make my plan to meet up for the viewing.This procedure is strictly meant for assurance if you are really capable to rent my flat.If this can be done as soon as possible,i will reserve the flat for you and schedule a viewing with you at your own earliest and convenient time..”
I still wasn’t happy about transferring money around like that so I didn’t but I started to think about it. Since both Kelvin Rhodes and Cindy Pauler had mentioned it it seemed more ok.
Then came along Jordan Moore. He had
another kind of an option:
“I bought this apartment for my daughter during her studies in United Kingdom, but now she is back home in USA New York permanently, so I am renting the place for unlimited time.The price is 500GBP Monthly and 500GBP security deposit refundable at the end of the contract! Since my daughter left United Kingdom, nobody is there to take care about renting it so I will just send the keys and contract. Transpact will be our mediator. I can't trust you to simply send the keys, I hope you understand my hesitancy as we just knew each other.
You will need to make a security deposit to this company (one month + one month security deposit). Once your deposit has been received by Transpact , they will deliver the keys/contract. At this point there might be two possible situations:
1. If you like the flat, you can sign the contract (send me one copy) and move-in;
2. Otherwise, Transpact will fully refund your deposit.
However, you will receive the procedure overview and payment instructions from Transpact. Using the reference given by the company, you can track your money within their records anytime.
Please send me your name/address and telephone number so I can contact Transpact and start the procedure. Afterwards, the company should notify you regarding the further steps. This is the Transpact service i am talking about: https://www.transpact.com/default.htm”
Transpact is actually listed by Metropolitan Police as a safe company so after doing a lot of research it didn’t sound too bad. For some reason I still hesitated and didn’t send the money.
And last but not least came along Casper Rask claiming to be from Denmark:
“I'm interested in finding someone clean who can take care of this house more then getting money from renting it if you know what I mean.
The price I want is £450 per month, bills included and I am interested in a long term agreement, minimum 3 months!
If you are decided to view the flat and have the money I could come in the next few days to show you the apartment and maybe sign the tenancy agreement if you like my flat (I am sure you will love it) but first I have to be sure you really do need a place to live because two weeks ago a person told me he is really interested and he asked me to go to London to meet him and sign the tenancy agreement and when I arrived there no one showed up to rent my place and I lost time and money for nothing. Please accept my apologies if I am rude but I hope you will understand me!”
I mean the price should have made an alarm bell ring in my head but for some reason it didn’t. The flat was gorgeous and in Chelsea, Sloane Square. Now afterwards I am thinking how did I not realize! But he sent me more pictures of the flat, details and an address. He gave the house number but said he didn't want to give the flat number because there was no one and he was afraid of robbers, which seemed fair enough to me. He also sent me the tenant agreement to have a look at so that I could have a proper read before we met up so that I wouldn't have to sign it in a rush. I read it all and nothing was out of ordinary.
And again Casper Rask asked the same thing as Cindy and Kelvin to prove that I could afford it I had to send money to a friend’s or family member’s name through Western Union.
“Its a very simple procedure when you make the transaction with Western Union in person! It takes 5 minutes to fill a paper and send the money to your partner or whoever you trust more and who can come with you at the time when we will meet to show you the flat! I promise I will reimburse you the 20 30 pounds , western union fees the first thing we meet, even before I will take you for the viewing this way you will know for sure that you will take it back even if you decide not to rent the place. We will then proceed with the viewing, I will provide you with my ownership papers so you can check them out for your peace of mind and if you decide to sign the agreement I will give you the keys and then you will cash out the money and pay me. “
Trust me, it sounded convincing when you didn’t know that it was a scam! When I went to Western Union I asked the agent: “Can only my brother with his ID pick it up?” and I was guaranteed that ONLY my brother could pick it up. Well, someone else did.
After sending the money and confirming it to Casper Rask by sending the receipt he never replied to a single email. This is when it dawned to me that it was a scam. I still wasn’t sure if Cindy Pauler and Kelvin Rhodes were scams too but as soon as I told them what had happened they disappeared. Kelvin Rhodes never responded and Cindy Pauler sent me an email saying “OK bye!” which is kind of funny now. I am certain that they were trying to get to the money as well unfortunately for them Casper Rask made it there first.
I can also prove that my brother never was in the UK when the money was picked up.
Of course I made a lot of mistakes I am not denying that but I blame Western Union for giving the money out that easily. They should have more strict identification policies. I have now involved police to investigate the fraud and waiting to hear if they find anything. Thank god the investigating police officer's name sounds like detective from a detective series. I'm sure that, if anyone, he will help me.
Now I am looking for a flat with a bigger price tag, less shiny inside and a reliable agency but I haven’t found the one yet. Now looking back I can see how I fell into that fraud because it is actually so difficult to find a decent, affordable place in London.
“I bought this apartment for my daughter during her studies in United Kingdom, but now she is back home in USA New York permanently, so I am renting the place for unlimited time.The price is 500GBP Monthly and 500GBP security deposit refundable at the end of the contract! Since my daughter left United Kingdom, nobody is there to take care about renting it so I will just send the keys and contract. Transpact will be our mediator. I can't trust you to simply send the keys, I hope you understand my hesitancy as we just knew each other.
You will need to make a security deposit to this company (one month + one month security deposit). Once your deposit has been received by Transpact , they will deliver the keys/contract. At this point there might be two possible situations:
1. If you like the flat, you can sign the contract (send me one copy) and move-in;
2. Otherwise, Transpact will fully refund your deposit.
However, you will receive the procedure overview and payment instructions from Transpact. Using the reference given by the company, you can track your money within their records anytime.
Please send me your name/address and telephone number so I can contact Transpact and start the procedure. Afterwards, the company should notify you regarding the further steps. This is the Transpact service i am talking about: https://www.transpact.com/default.htm”
Transpact is actually listed by Metropolitan Police as a safe company so after doing a lot of research it didn’t sound too bad. For some reason I still hesitated and didn’t send the money.
And last but not least came along Casper Rask claiming to be from Denmark:
“I'm interested in finding someone clean who can take care of this house more then getting money from renting it if you know what I mean.
The price I want is £450 per month, bills included and I am interested in a long term agreement, minimum 3 months!
If you are decided to view the flat and have the money I could come in the next few days to show you the apartment and maybe sign the tenancy agreement if you like my flat (I am sure you will love it) but first I have to be sure you really do need a place to live because two weeks ago a person told me he is really interested and he asked me to go to London to meet him and sign the tenancy agreement and when I arrived there no one showed up to rent my place and I lost time and money for nothing. Please accept my apologies if I am rude but I hope you will understand me!”
I mean the price should have made an alarm bell ring in my head but for some reason it didn’t. The flat was gorgeous and in Chelsea, Sloane Square. Now afterwards I am thinking how did I not realize! But he sent me more pictures of the flat, details and an address. He gave the house number but said he didn't want to give the flat number because there was no one and he was afraid of robbers, which seemed fair enough to me. He also sent me the tenant agreement to have a look at so that I could have a proper read before we met up so that I wouldn't have to sign it in a rush. I read it all and nothing was out of ordinary.
And again Casper Rask asked the same thing as Cindy and Kelvin to prove that I could afford it I had to send money to a friend’s or family member’s name through Western Union.
“Its a very simple procedure when you make the transaction with Western Union in person! It takes 5 minutes to fill a paper and send the money to your partner or whoever you trust more and who can come with you at the time when we will meet to show you the flat! I promise I will reimburse you the 20 30 pounds , western union fees the first thing we meet, even before I will take you for the viewing this way you will know for sure that you will take it back even if you decide not to rent the place. We will then proceed with the viewing, I will provide you with my ownership papers so you can check them out for your peace of mind and if you decide to sign the agreement I will give you the keys and then you will cash out the money and pay me. “
Trust me, it sounded convincing when you didn’t know that it was a scam! When I went to Western Union I asked the agent: “Can only my brother with his ID pick it up?” and I was guaranteed that ONLY my brother could pick it up. Well, someone else did.
After sending the money and confirming it to Casper Rask by sending the receipt he never replied to a single email. This is when it dawned to me that it was a scam. I still wasn’t sure if Cindy Pauler and Kelvin Rhodes were scams too but as soon as I told them what had happened they disappeared. Kelvin Rhodes never responded and Cindy Pauler sent me an email saying “OK bye!” which is kind of funny now. I am certain that they were trying to get to the money as well unfortunately for them Casper Rask made it there first.
I can also prove that my brother never was in the UK when the money was picked up.
Of course I made a lot of mistakes I am not denying that but I blame Western Union for giving the money out that easily. They should have more strict identification policies. I have now involved police to investigate the fraud and waiting to hear if they find anything. Thank god the investigating police officer's name sounds like detective from a detective series. I'm sure that, if anyone, he will help me.
Now I am looking for a flat with a bigger price tag, less shiny inside and a reliable agency but I haven’t found the one yet. Now looking back I can see how I fell into that fraud because it is actually so difficult to find a decent, affordable place in London.
Thursday 19 July 2012
Equality and quality to women's Turkish bath - a business idea
Turkish baths were originally designed for
men on their way to war to relax their muscles and mind but has now become a
place of relaxation for any man -exactly, any man. This is a plea for Turkish
women to stand up and demand equality and quality in the Turkish bath.
Last week I visited one of these baths I
had heard so much about. They sounded like amazing chambers of secrets,
traditions and massages. Needless to say I was disappointed. I pay for the
entrance and a massage and I am escorted to the changing rooms. The changing
rooms are nice but reminded me slightly of those that are at public swimming
pools. I do not think much of it being so nervous and everything since it is my
first time and I am going alone. I have been told that no swimsuit or bikini is
required so I get undressed and I am handed a towel to wrap around myself. I am
given a locker where I can put my belongings to, just like in swimming pools
but this is not a criticism.
I am guided to another room. Fairly small to what I have imagined and much less magnificent than I was told by the men who had described the mens side. Both sides of the doors have stone tables for massages and in the middle of the room there is a pool filled with hot water. I say hot but I heard afterwards that in the mens side the hot pool is nut cracking hot so maybe I should describe the pool nice and warm then. On the other massage table there is a woman in her bikini getting a massage while her two small children are playing around the pool and splashing the water. So you can delete the word relaxing from the womens side straight away.
The lady who guided me to the room tells me to wash first before entering the pool which is fine until I have to figure out the washing part. Highly confused by the fact that the woman getting a massage is wearing a bikini I stand there not knowing what to do. The woman giving her a massage is also wearing a bikini. I find the situation incredibly awkward. The massager tries to show me that I need to use the white plastic bowl (which in the men’s side is metal and looks antique) to throw water on myself. Okay, that is fine, that’s what we do before sauna in Finland as well but the mystery remains whether I should take the towel off or keep it on. I have never been as puzzled as trying to ask the woman should I take it off or keep it on. After a while I find out that I should keep the towel on which makes no sense to me because now it is going to get wet. I keep the towel on, wash myself and approach the pool. Now the question is whether I go in with the towel. Thankfully that is sorted out quickly when the woman nods at me encouragingly and I step in.
The water is warm and I have no trouble sitting in it. It would be decently relaxing without the kids throwing water from the wash basins to the pool. I can’t relax so I just sit there staring at the wall. Finally the woman leaves with her kids and it’s quiet. The massage woman comes back and asks me to come to the massage table and lay down as it is my turn for my massage. The massage is okay and I do enjoy it but nothing to do with the one on the men’s side where I’ve heard they are very rough cracking every bone in your body. This massage is a gentle one with no effects after five minutes which disappoints me. I wanted someone to be very strong and physical nearly violent and make me feel the effects still the next day. But that doesn’t happen. It is also very awkward because of my nakedness even though the massager ignores it very well. After the massage I get back into the pool because I need to kill some time. I had thought I would manage to spend more than an hour there but it has hardly been thirty minutes. A couple of more women come into the bath their swimsuits and bikinis on which makes me want to disappear.
After another 10 minutes of sitting in the pool I get up and go back to the changing room where the woman who guided me hands me dry towels, none of that wrapping a towel around me and walking me to a seat like on the men’s side though. I take a seat in the corner of the changing room. It is just a swimming pool changing room with rooms you can get changed in and in the middle of the room there are four more of the white plastic garden chairs that I am sitting on and a table. Afterwards I hear that the men’s side has a fountain in the middle of the room and no white plastic garden chairs. I see a drinks menu on the table and have a look at it thinking about ordering a soda but nobody comes to ask if I want or need anything so I just sit there staring at the palms of my hands. I am really thirsty so I decide to get dressed and leave because I know I have a water bottle in my bag.
I leave disappointed and upset that the women’s side was such a let-down. I understand that the bath tradition is originally for men but 2012 nobody loses if the women’s one was made to the same standards. I cannot believe that women have not thought that it is not quite equal and I don’t understand why they accept it. If I were a Turkish woman I would open my own high quality Turkish bath for women with no white plastic bowls, garden chairs, warm water and gentle massages. If you won’t do it for the p at least do it for the money - it is a business idea.
I am guided to another room. Fairly small to what I have imagined and much less magnificent than I was told by the men who had described the mens side. Both sides of the doors have stone tables for massages and in the middle of the room there is a pool filled with hot water. I say hot but I heard afterwards that in the mens side the hot pool is nut cracking hot so maybe I should describe the pool nice and warm then. On the other massage table there is a woman in her bikini getting a massage while her two small children are playing around the pool and splashing the water. So you can delete the word relaxing from the womens side straight away.
The lady who guided me to the room tells me to wash first before entering the pool which is fine until I have to figure out the washing part. Highly confused by the fact that the woman getting a massage is wearing a bikini I stand there not knowing what to do. The woman giving her a massage is also wearing a bikini. I find the situation incredibly awkward. The massager tries to show me that I need to use the white plastic bowl (which in the men’s side is metal and looks antique) to throw water on myself. Okay, that is fine, that’s what we do before sauna in Finland as well but the mystery remains whether I should take the towel off or keep it on. I have never been as puzzled as trying to ask the woman should I take it off or keep it on. After a while I find out that I should keep the towel on which makes no sense to me because now it is going to get wet. I keep the towel on, wash myself and approach the pool. Now the question is whether I go in with the towel. Thankfully that is sorted out quickly when the woman nods at me encouragingly and I step in.
The water is warm and I have no trouble sitting in it. It would be decently relaxing without the kids throwing water from the wash basins to the pool. I can’t relax so I just sit there staring at the wall. Finally the woman leaves with her kids and it’s quiet. The massage woman comes back and asks me to come to the massage table and lay down as it is my turn for my massage. The massage is okay and I do enjoy it but nothing to do with the one on the men’s side where I’ve heard they are very rough cracking every bone in your body. This massage is a gentle one with no effects after five minutes which disappoints me. I wanted someone to be very strong and physical nearly violent and make me feel the effects still the next day. But that doesn’t happen. It is also very awkward because of my nakedness even though the massager ignores it very well. After the massage I get back into the pool because I need to kill some time. I had thought I would manage to spend more than an hour there but it has hardly been thirty minutes. A couple of more women come into the bath their swimsuits and bikinis on which makes me want to disappear.
After another 10 minutes of sitting in the pool I get up and go back to the changing room where the woman who guided me hands me dry towels, none of that wrapping a towel around me and walking me to a seat like on the men’s side though. I take a seat in the corner of the changing room. It is just a swimming pool changing room with rooms you can get changed in and in the middle of the room there are four more of the white plastic garden chairs that I am sitting on and a table. Afterwards I hear that the men’s side has a fountain in the middle of the room and no white plastic garden chairs. I see a drinks menu on the table and have a look at it thinking about ordering a soda but nobody comes to ask if I want or need anything so I just sit there staring at the palms of my hands. I am really thirsty so I decide to get dressed and leave because I know I have a water bottle in my bag.
I leave disappointed and upset that the women’s side was such a let-down. I understand that the bath tradition is originally for men but 2012 nobody loses if the women’s one was made to the same standards. I cannot believe that women have not thought that it is not quite equal and I don’t understand why they accept it. If I were a Turkish woman I would open my own high quality Turkish bath for women with no white plastic bowls, garden chairs, warm water and gentle massages. If you won’t do it for the p at least do it for the money - it is a business idea.
Thursday 5 July 2012
Why finding The One (hairdresser) is important to your mental health
Going to hairdressers can be a very scary thing because these people have the power to define the way you look for months. I am very picky about who does my hair because I have realized a bad hair day can turn a good day into a bad day and make me feel worthless. This is why getting my hair done well is always an investment. You wouldn't think that hair has so much power over the way we view ourselves. Good hair days I think 'Oh maybe I'm alright you know I like the way I look, I don't mind being me' and bad hair days trust me I feel like jumping in front of the train.
I used to come home crying from hairdressers when I didn't like my hair so I am always so nervous about getting my hair done. But I did it today... and I haven't made up my mind what I think about my hair now. I think it could be a teeny weeny bit too short. I am very picky. I can't decide if I look like a teenage boy or fashionable and nice girl (obviously the look I was going for). But I decided that I will wait until tomorrow, wash my hair in the morning and style it myself before I panic. The trick is also to try on some nice clothes and put on make up because otherwise it doesn't matter how good the hair looks it will look shit anyway.
In my opinion hairdressers have the most important job making me feel good about myself. My self confidence (or the lack of it) depends on my hair. And if my self confidence relies on my hair so does then my mental health. That is why I was so incredibly happy when the first time in England I went to hairdressers and he was THE ONE. I had been nervous that nobody in the country could dye or cut my hair right since it is not the typical English hair type but Scandinavian blond, floaty and thin but I think my hairdresser has done better job than a Finnish hairdresser ever has and I have never come out crying after a hair cut or dye here.
Today is the first time I am not sure about my hair. I try not to dwell on it (writing a blog about it is obviously not doing that!) because I know I have a habit of creating worst case scenarios in my head. The problem of judging the hair straight after hairdressers is that you haven't styled it yourself. Hairdressers have a tendency to style you hair into curls (always curls for some odd reason!!) and the way you would never do it yourself. In a way it is nice but you won't look like yourself at all and that freaks me out. Curls make me look stupid - either a 21 year old wanna be fairytale princess or an old lady and I wasn't going for either of those looks believe me. But I have grown up to realize that I need to wait until the next day to decide if its a disaster or just a shiny new me.
I used to come home crying from hairdressers when I didn't like my hair so I am always so nervous about getting my hair done. But I did it today... and I haven't made up my mind what I think about my hair now. I think it could be a teeny weeny bit too short. I am very picky. I can't decide if I look like a teenage boy or fashionable and nice girl (obviously the look I was going for). But I decided that I will wait until tomorrow, wash my hair in the morning and style it myself before I panic. The trick is also to try on some nice clothes and put on make up because otherwise it doesn't matter how good the hair looks it will look shit anyway.
In my opinion hairdressers have the most important job making me feel good about myself. My self confidence (or the lack of it) depends on my hair. And if my self confidence relies on my hair so does then my mental health. That is why I was so incredibly happy when the first time in England I went to hairdressers and he was THE ONE. I had been nervous that nobody in the country could dye or cut my hair right since it is not the typical English hair type but Scandinavian blond, floaty and thin but I think my hairdresser has done better job than a Finnish hairdresser ever has and I have never come out crying after a hair cut or dye here.
Today is the first time I am not sure about my hair. I try not to dwell on it (writing a blog about it is obviously not doing that!) because I know I have a habit of creating worst case scenarios in my head. The problem of judging the hair straight after hairdressers is that you haven't styled it yourself. Hairdressers have a tendency to style you hair into curls (always curls for some odd reason!!) and the way you would never do it yourself. In a way it is nice but you won't look like yourself at all and that freaks me out. Curls make me look stupid - either a 21 year old wanna be fairytale princess or an old lady and I wasn't going for either of those looks believe me. But I have grown up to realize that I need to wait until the next day to decide if its a disaster or just a shiny new me.
Tuesday 26 June 2012
A Guide to How to Not Look Pretentious
This blog post is going to create a lot of angry people but I am not afraid of that because this is what this blog is about - opinions. And I think most of the people who read this will recognize themselves in this one or if they don't oh well you might just be the worst kind: so pretentious you don't even know it. A couple of people inspired me to write this post including a girl tapping and jamming to her music on the tube her eyes closed.
I have been reading a lot of blogs lately, a lot of tweets and seen many people (for some reason mostly on Central Line) and I know a bunch of people. Those are my research objects for this post.
There are types of pretentious people:
1) People like the girl in the train. I remember looking at her in a very evil way trying to tell her to stop but she chose to continue looking like a dork. Earphones on and pretending that she is sooooo into the great music that she is listening to she has to dance around the carriage. No you don't have to. It's fine to listen to your music but no need to tap or dance, hum or nod and if you are not tired try keeping your eyes open. You are not a DJ. It's fine to listen to music in your room and dance around but don't tell anyone you are doing it or it's pretentious.
2) People who sing. Singing in public argggh! Especially I hate people who say oh they can sing. This is why I don't like Zooey Deschanel. Her characters are on the top of the pretentious list for me. I would never talk to her character in New Girl if she existed. I watch the show just because I like the guys. I am going to rule out singing as a joke if it lasts less than five seconds after that I don't find it funny anymore. And nobody should ever try to impress me by writing me a song. Never. Unless they are professional at it (=your songs are being played in the radio at least 3 times a day). Playing a guitar will make it even worse.
3) People who think their life story matters when it doesn't (when it does someone will tell you so no need for guessing). Why would I want to read about how you learned to walk and talk, what was your favourite toy and how naughty but cute kid you used to be. I will ask if I want to know. While it's fine to mention one of these things in a relevant conversation with you friends, a stranger does not want to know if they don't ask. So good rule of thumb here is that don't expect someone to be interested if they haven't verbally expressed their interest or if your interesting fact doesn't perfectly fit into the conversation.
4) People who pretend to understand arts. In a serious manner. This one will be short because I don't hang out with people who pretend to understand arts in a serious manner for a reason.
5) People who think they are cultured. Oh I love Jane Austen blaah blaah blaah you know what I love her books too and it's not so difficult they are nice light reads and nothing to boast about.
6) People who think they are different. Let me tell you something, I am just an average person and there is nothing that I can do that nobody else can. "I am actually a bit weird because I like to sing while I cook." Never heard of anyone else doing it? Oh of course not because you have no friends. Obviously it's not anything special all the characters in books and movies do it so basically you just copied and pasted it. I remember (relevant story to the topic! Hahaa!) when I was in primary school and I used to hope that I walked funnily or there would be something weird about my eyes that would make me interesting. There wasn't. And now I've just accepted that I am an average person with no superpowers and I am just like anyone else. For some reason many people find it hard to accept that they are just average.
I know top six of things that make you pretentious is not an ideal number so I will give you one more as a bonus.
+ people who are inspired by 500 Days of Summer. My pet hate.
oh and another one!
+ people who think they are Zooey Deschanel.
Actually the bonus ones are the most important ones if you don't want to look pretentious.
If I missed anything important please let me know I am happy to hear what you think is pretentious!
I have been reading a lot of blogs lately, a lot of tweets and seen many people (for some reason mostly on Central Line) and I know a bunch of people. Those are my research objects for this post.
There are types of pretentious people:
1) People like the girl in the train. I remember looking at her in a very evil way trying to tell her to stop but she chose to continue looking like a dork. Earphones on and pretending that she is sooooo into the great music that she is listening to she has to dance around the carriage. No you don't have to. It's fine to listen to your music but no need to tap or dance, hum or nod and if you are not tired try keeping your eyes open. You are not a DJ. It's fine to listen to music in your room and dance around but don't tell anyone you are doing it or it's pretentious.
2) People who sing. Singing in public argggh! Especially I hate people who say oh they can sing. This is why I don't like Zooey Deschanel. Her characters are on the top of the pretentious list for me. I would never talk to her character in New Girl if she existed. I watch the show just because I like the guys. I am going to rule out singing as a joke if it lasts less than five seconds after that I don't find it funny anymore. And nobody should ever try to impress me by writing me a song. Never. Unless they are professional at it (=your songs are being played in the radio at least 3 times a day). Playing a guitar will make it even worse.
3) People who think their life story matters when it doesn't (when it does someone will tell you so no need for guessing). Why would I want to read about how you learned to walk and talk, what was your favourite toy and how naughty but cute kid you used to be. I will ask if I want to know. While it's fine to mention one of these things in a relevant conversation with you friends, a stranger does not want to know if they don't ask. So good rule of thumb here is that don't expect someone to be interested if they haven't verbally expressed their interest or if your interesting fact doesn't perfectly fit into the conversation.
4) People who pretend to understand arts. In a serious manner. This one will be short because I don't hang out with people who pretend to understand arts in a serious manner for a reason.
5) People who think they are cultured. Oh I love Jane Austen blaah blaah blaah you know what I love her books too and it's not so difficult they are nice light reads and nothing to boast about.
6) People who think they are different. Let me tell you something, I am just an average person and there is nothing that I can do that nobody else can. "I am actually a bit weird because I like to sing while I cook." Never heard of anyone else doing it? Oh of course not because you have no friends. Obviously it's not anything special all the characters in books and movies do it so basically you just copied and pasted it. I remember (relevant story to the topic! Hahaa!) when I was in primary school and I used to hope that I walked funnily or there would be something weird about my eyes that would make me interesting. There wasn't. And now I've just accepted that I am an average person with no superpowers and I am just like anyone else. For some reason many people find it hard to accept that they are just average.
I know top six of things that make you pretentious is not an ideal number so I will give you one more as a bonus.
+ people who are inspired by 500 Days of Summer. My pet hate.
oh and another one!
+ people who think they are Zooey Deschanel.
Actually the bonus ones are the most important ones if you don't want to look pretentious.
If I missed anything important please let me know I am happy to hear what you think is pretentious!
Sunday 17 June 2012
A foreigner in the jungle - A life lesson
I love London. I don't like Finland (where I am from). Mainly because I feel that I don't fit in. A lot of people say they want to find their roots or they want to go back to their roots, see I don't get that. Since I was twelve I knew I would leave. It's not that I don't love my house, my family and my friends but for me Finland seemed like a cage, a place where dreams came to die.
Now I visit home approximately four times a year. I still don't like it there and I feel like my life in London has been just a dream but I've learned to love it from a distance. I have realized that I love my country when I am not there. I love being Finnish when I am not in Finland and I try my hardest to never move back there. Not that it's not a good place to live. To be honest it is probably the best place to live in the world but it's not for me. So that's the introduction to what I am going to tell you. I want to tell you why for the first time I wanted to be in Finland (- not physically but to be on the same page with some people).
See, our landlords were a bit of a pricks the other week. We have an upstairs room that leads to a rooftop balcony but we had no access to it because we did not have stairs for four months since we moved in (now we got a temporary ladder). We have been asking and asking for them but didn't get any answers. After all this waiting we had enough and decided we shouldn't be paying full rent when we cannot use upstairs room or balcony. Our offer was to pay £150 less for the duration that we did not have access to upstairs but our landlords 'kindly' informed us that if we are not happy we can move out. In Finland the tenants have rights and if there is a space they cannot use because of the landlord they don't have to pay for it. You pay for what you have access to. We rented this apartment wanting that upstairs room and balcony but we didn't have it so why should we pay the full price. Makes no sense. This is what bugs me. Here landlords are the kings and tenants have to do what ever they say. Our landlords in our previous apartment where even more out of order and couldn't keep to the contracts themselves. It's all this trying to trick people mentality that I don't like and I guess in those moments I miss Finland. Here I am on my own and the laws that I am used to suddenly don't apply. It's like a different jungle.
The difficulty of living in another country than your family is that they cannot help you or give you advise in this kind of situations because they do not know the laws in here. That has been the toughest thing living abroad. I have been here for nearly two years now as a student and I have a lot to learn. I never fight against the culture I am in because I decided to come here and if I don't like it I should leave because it is not my country but sometimes I wish that I could change some bits around to make it more sensible and more fair to everybody.
People keep telling me that I need to toughen up because 'this is real world, it's not Finland anymore' and I do admit they are not wrong. I just accept that what is right is the law. It's not. See, we Finnish people are quite honest and straight forward (obviously this is a generalization) and I expect that elsewhere as well. I know it's naive but I don't want to go everywhere doubting every single thing I am told. Like with the landlords, they were so nice when we moved in and that's where it stopped and now they try to get money out of every single thing. I am still not willing to turn against humanity but sometimes a harmless looking plant can be poisonous - or at least taste bad.
Now I visit home approximately four times a year. I still don't like it there and I feel like my life in London has been just a dream but I've learned to love it from a distance. I have realized that I love my country when I am not there. I love being Finnish when I am not in Finland and I try my hardest to never move back there. Not that it's not a good place to live. To be honest it is probably the best place to live in the world but it's not for me. So that's the introduction to what I am going to tell you. I want to tell you why for the first time I wanted to be in Finland (- not physically but to be on the same page with some people).
See, our landlords were a bit of a pricks the other week. We have an upstairs room that leads to a rooftop balcony but we had no access to it because we did not have stairs for four months since we moved in (now we got a temporary ladder). We have been asking and asking for them but didn't get any answers. After all this waiting we had enough and decided we shouldn't be paying full rent when we cannot use upstairs room or balcony. Our offer was to pay £150 less for the duration that we did not have access to upstairs but our landlords 'kindly' informed us that if we are not happy we can move out. In Finland the tenants have rights and if there is a space they cannot use because of the landlord they don't have to pay for it. You pay for what you have access to. We rented this apartment wanting that upstairs room and balcony but we didn't have it so why should we pay the full price. Makes no sense. This is what bugs me. Here landlords are the kings and tenants have to do what ever they say. Our landlords in our previous apartment where even more out of order and couldn't keep to the contracts themselves. It's all this trying to trick people mentality that I don't like and I guess in those moments I miss Finland. Here I am on my own and the laws that I am used to suddenly don't apply. It's like a different jungle.
The difficulty of living in another country than your family is that they cannot help you or give you advise in this kind of situations because they do not know the laws in here. That has been the toughest thing living abroad. I have been here for nearly two years now as a student and I have a lot to learn. I never fight against the culture I am in because I decided to come here and if I don't like it I should leave because it is not my country but sometimes I wish that I could change some bits around to make it more sensible and more fair to everybody.
People keep telling me that I need to toughen up because 'this is real world, it's not Finland anymore' and I do admit they are not wrong. I just accept that what is right is the law. It's not. See, we Finnish people are quite honest and straight forward (obviously this is a generalization) and I expect that elsewhere as well. I know it's naive but I don't want to go everywhere doubting every single thing I am told. Like with the landlords, they were so nice when we moved in and that's where it stopped and now they try to get money out of every single thing. I am still not willing to turn against humanity but sometimes a harmless looking plant can be poisonous - or at least taste bad.
Saturday 9 June 2012
My greatest fear is fear itself (My Zombie Plan)
Alright so this blog will be slightly more personal one. I was going to write it last night but I realized I would just scare myself to death if I did since I was home alone. So I decided to wait for some daylight.
If you haven't already guessed (such an obvious thing anyway) what I'm going to write about is Zombies - my number two fear! My ultimate fear is the Grudge girl and I would put a picture of her here but I can't since she is my number one fear in the whole wide world. I would also Google the movie title and the year but I am afraid that a picture of her will pop up on Google. Zombies come in a good second place and third snakes and so on. Weirdly enough robbers, murderers and such are not even on the list. I am only scared of supernatural things (and snakes -but I think that's justified since Indiana Jones is also scared of snakes).
The only two zombie films I've ever seen are 28 Weeks Later (2007) and Zombieland (2009). I would count in Resident Evil (2002) as well even though I am aware that it is not a zombie movie. The zombies in it scared the hell out of me though. I wasn't actually scared of watching 28 Weeks Later but my imagination got me scared later on. It is not that I would be terrified watching it but what my mind starts to create when it's dark and I'm alone. My fear of zombies is the actual fear of being afraid if that makes sense. The fear of having to run and hide and the fact that they are not humans and you cannot reason with them. In my mind they are incredibly strong and can run through doors and that is why I sometimes stay awake at night listening to the pace of footsteps outside (I've been told that zombies always run).
This one time I came home from Italy and my flat mate wasn't there (which I knew already beforehand) but I had started to imagine things already on my way from Heathrow Airport because it was so dark outside. When I got home I made the mistake of going upstairs into my room without checking the house. The rest of the night I stayed awake fearing that my flat mate didn't actually ever leave but would lie on the kitchen floor and slowly turn into a zombie. Imagining that I got so scared of it I couldn't go and check so I decided to stay awake the whole night sitting on my bed. By the way just so you know she wasn't in the house and hadn't turned into a zombie I found out later.
My problem with a Zombie Apocalypse would be the fact that you are expecting a zombie to burst in any second. It's not the fighting with them it's the living in fear to be found. This is why my zombie plan is tuttuduuu tu tuddutuuu : to kill myself. Yes, yes I know it's an amazing plan because then I don't have to be scared. My friends always tease me that they will dress up as zombies and scare me but they are worried that I would actually kill myself before they get the chance to tell me they were just joking.
To be honest my ultimate plan would be this: http://all-that-is-interesting.com/post/4956385434/the-first-zombie-proof-house. But the problem with it is that how likely is it that I will actually have that house. If I had it though, people said that what if WHAT IF zombies still would get in. I would be stuck with them. Well I would build an underground tunnel for escape with a Jeep waiting for me there. I know, your next question is: what if zombies come through the tunnel then. They won't. I would have the tunnel built that if you try to access it from outside it will have these metal walls (like in Titanic) that come down. With sensor detectors obviously.
But obviously the Zombie Apocalypse isn't very likely. Or is it? Have you seen the news lately?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVhQWQSvwEw (Cannibal Attack (Miami Zombie), TheYoungTurks, 29.05.2012) and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eQ39wxAjXw&feature=relmfu (Man Eats Roommate's Brain, Heart ('Zombie' Attack), TheYoungTurks, 1.06.2012).
Just one last thing guys. Don't take bath salts because they seem to turn you into a zombie!
If you haven't already guessed (such an obvious thing anyway) what I'm going to write about is Zombies - my number two fear! My ultimate fear is the Grudge girl and I would put a picture of her here but I can't since she is my number one fear in the whole wide world. I would also Google the movie title and the year but I am afraid that a picture of her will pop up on Google. Zombies come in a good second place and third snakes and so on. Weirdly enough robbers, murderers and such are not even on the list. I am only scared of supernatural things (and snakes -but I think that's justified since Indiana Jones is also scared of snakes).
The only two zombie films I've ever seen are 28 Weeks Later (2007) and Zombieland (2009). I would count in Resident Evil (2002) as well even though I am aware that it is not a zombie movie. The zombies in it scared the hell out of me though. I wasn't actually scared of watching 28 Weeks Later but my imagination got me scared later on. It is not that I would be terrified watching it but what my mind starts to create when it's dark and I'm alone. My fear of zombies is the actual fear of being afraid if that makes sense. The fear of having to run and hide and the fact that they are not humans and you cannot reason with them. In my mind they are incredibly strong and can run through doors and that is why I sometimes stay awake at night listening to the pace of footsteps outside (I've been told that zombies always run).
This one time I came home from Italy and my flat mate wasn't there (which I knew already beforehand) but I had started to imagine things already on my way from Heathrow Airport because it was so dark outside. When I got home I made the mistake of going upstairs into my room without checking the house. The rest of the night I stayed awake fearing that my flat mate didn't actually ever leave but would lie on the kitchen floor and slowly turn into a zombie. Imagining that I got so scared of it I couldn't go and check so I decided to stay awake the whole night sitting on my bed. By the way just so you know she wasn't in the house and hadn't turned into a zombie I found out later.
My problem with a Zombie Apocalypse would be the fact that you are expecting a zombie to burst in any second. It's not the fighting with them it's the living in fear to be found. This is why my zombie plan is tuttuduuu tu tuddutuuu : to kill myself. Yes, yes I know it's an amazing plan because then I don't have to be scared. My friends always tease me that they will dress up as zombies and scare me but they are worried that I would actually kill myself before they get the chance to tell me they were just joking.
To be honest my ultimate plan would be this: http://all-that-is-interesting.com/post/4956385434/the-first-zombie-proof-house. But the problem with it is that how likely is it that I will actually have that house. If I had it though, people said that what if WHAT IF zombies still would get in. I would be stuck with them. Well I would build an underground tunnel for escape with a Jeep waiting for me there. I know, your next question is: what if zombies come through the tunnel then. They won't. I would have the tunnel built that if you try to access it from outside it will have these metal walls (like in Titanic) that come down. With sensor detectors obviously.
But obviously the Zombie Apocalypse isn't very likely. Or is it? Have you seen the news lately?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVhQWQSvwEw (Cannibal Attack (Miami Zombie), TheYoungTurks, 29.05.2012) and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eQ39wxAjXw&feature=relmfu (Man Eats Roommate's Brain, Heart ('Zombie' Attack), TheYoungTurks, 1.06.2012).
Just one last thing guys. Don't take bath salts because they seem to turn you into a zombie!
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